Well this Mother's Day started off a little different than I expected. I spent the entire night throwing up and my "breakfast in bed" was dry cheerios and zofran. Nick woke up with pink eye in both eyes, yet managed to rally and take Liam for the morning since pregnancy still tops conjunctivitis :) (Thanks daddy!) Oh well at least Liam seems to be having a good morning.
I didn't always know what I wanted to do with my life, but I always knew I wanted to be a mommy. I am so blessed to be a mommy to Liam and baby ziggy. Being a mom is not always easy, and I have been so fortunate to have so many wonderful mom-figures throughout my life. All these women have shaped me into the mommy that I am or still becoming. My Grannie and my Nana were both the epitomies of the perfect grandmother in different ways. Grannie always kept candy dishes out around the house and loved to sing and dance with us. Nana would always make our favorite foods and take us on the rollercoasters at theme parks. They both spoiled us rotten, and even though they both had >13 grandchildren each, we all felt special. Together they were the perfect team and would often baby-sit the four of us when our parents were away. Grannie knew where everything was in our town ( but didn't know how to drive) so Nana would drive us around. They would make us homemade chocolate chip cookies and cool them on newspapers (which I still do). In fact two of my favorite foods, tuna croquettes and tomatoes with cottage cheese, are from them. For the longest time, I didn't know which one was my mom or dad's mom because they both seemed to love my parents equally. I didn't realize till much later that lots of people don't get along with their in-laws because I just never experienced that. I was so fortunate to have such wonderful grandmothers and hope that I have become a mommy they are proud of.
Having four children, I know my mom needed support and she surrounded herself with many wonderful women. Aunt Debbie, Kiki, Lynn, and Paulette are all surrogate moms to the four of us. They have all housed us, taught us, provided for us, been there for our celebrations and our losses, treated us like their own children, and adopted our children as their grandchildren as well. I have also learned so much from Robyn, Juila, and Rachy by watching they way they raise their amazing kids. I feel so fortunate to have watched these kids grow up (and continue to grow up). And I def would have gone completely crazy by now if it wasn't for all my girlfriends (mommies and non-mommies) who are always there to give advice, swap stories, and listen.
Debbie has truly been a second mom since Nick and I have been together. Because of how close my mom was to Grannie, I always knew I wanted the same close relationship with my husband's mother....and I got so lucky with Debbie!! We clicked from the very beginning and now our relationship consists of almost-daily phone calls and lots of visits. She has shared with me many of her holiday traditions and meals from Nick's childhood to pass on to my family. She has always been there for us and has already started the grandma tradition of babysitting Liam and Pres with Mal while Rachy and I were out of town. I love that Liam and ziggy will grow up seeing how close their parents and grandparents are and that they will have such a strong family foundation.
My Mal...where do I begin? While living in LA, Mal and I would talk everyday...actually more like multiple times a day. She does this with all my siblings. How does she get anything done while talking to four children multiple times throughout the day? I've tried to learn the secret since we've lived here, but really can't figure it out. Sure, there are times I would call her cell phone, only to have her answer in the middle of a conversation she's having on the house phone(yes she will have two conversations at once). But, she ALWAYS answers her phone. 24/7, she will always answer. If she's in a movie and can't answer, she'll text. If she's getting on a plane where she really can't answer she'll tell me beforehand when she will land and can talk again. I can't think of a single moment I needed her and she wasn't there. Therefore, when I need something, she is usually my first call. I have to admit (if you didn't already figure it out), I'm kind of a mommy's girl. So living away from her for so long was something I didn't think I could do. But it was actually wonderful, and again, if I needed her, she was there. I went in to labor around 8pm on Sat. night (3 weeks early, so a little unexpected) and Mal (and Debbie) were both on planes by 6am the next morning. When I went back to work/school , Liam was only 6 weeks old and too young for daycare. Mal lived with us for a month and cared for Liam so that I could go back and not get behind in school.
When Liam was almost a year, I went to the hospital in the middle of the night with appendicitis. I called my mom around 4 am her time to tell her I had to have emergency surgery that day. I was hysterical (I am a great nurse practitioner, but the WORST patient) and scared. My surgery was at noon and when I woke up Mal was sitting next to my hospital bed. After abdominal surgery, I couldn't walk up or down the steps well and could not pick up Liam for weeks...Mal stayed with us again through this time to care for him and help
me get around.
I was so proud that when I graduated college I moved straight to NYC and not home to my parents' like alot of kids do. Then I went straight on to LA and again congratulated myself for not having to run home. Well not only did I end up moving in with my parents in my late-20s but I also brought my husband and baby with me (I def do not look down on anyone who lives with their parents as adults!!). It was a blessing to stay here because we could save money on rent and not be pressured to buy a house too soon. We were so grateful for the help, but now that I'm pregnant, I literally don't think I could have made it through the first trimester, starting work, and closing on our house without Mal. She fed, clothed, and cared for Liam when I couldn't get off the couch for weeks. She went to all our meetings with the builder and guided us through buying our first house without a realtor. Mal did the walk-thru of the house for us when Nick and I both couldn't make it and went to the closing with Nick when I had to work. She always had our best interests and I never had to explain what needed to be done, because she always knew. Just like with Liam...I can come and go around my work schedule and know that Mal (and Rachy) will keep him on the same routine as I would. She knows him as well as Nick and I do, as she has also been taking care of him since he was born :) I am excited to be settling in to our own house and won't miss Mal too much...since we are only living
a few miles apart :)
I don't know how Mal raised 4 children under the age of 4...apparently she doesn't either because she has either blocked or forgotten most of it :) But Mal still continues to amaze me, even though we are all grown. She is helping me move and decorate my new house, while looking for jobs for Meha, while sharing babysitting duties of the kids with Rachy, and listening to Alex's court and school stories. And she still makes homemade pizzas for 10 (soon to be 11) of us every Friday for pizza and game night. Mal has to be doing something right...in a few weeks she will have all four of her children and their families living within 20 miles of her.
I realize not everyone has a Mal. And I know alot of friends who do not want to talk or see their mom that often. But I can't imagine not having my mom be involved in everything in my life. And Liam and baby ziggy will learn from an early age that I will always be around and involved...and want to talk to them multiple times a day :) I know how blessed I am to have Mal. Thank you Mal for all you have done and continue to do for us. Now when I grow up...I don't just want to be a mommy, I want to be a Mal :)
3 comments:
emily, here is how you get it all done- play with your babies when they are awake and get your work done when they sleep! i know--that's easier said than done, but years from now you won't remember how tired you were or how little sleep you got. it's 2:15 am and i just finished researching schools for amelia (i'm on a mission :) what can i say) and as usual i check liam and presley's blogs before i go to bed. even when he is asleep just up the stairs i love seeing his beautiful smile one more time each day. your blog was an awesome way to end my mother's day. i had to actually read it twice since i cried through it the first time. you are a wonderful mother, so kind, loving and very patient. look at how bright , happy and well adjusted liam is. you and nick get all the credit for that. you make taking care of liam easy because you have set up a great system (not the best word , but it is late :) to care for and nuture him. we just pick up and fill in for a few hours. but you do it BEST. you got the unconditional love part down :) so everyday keep enjoying your family..play..laugh..make memories. that's what you,liam, ziggy and all the other babies (tee hee nicky b) will remember. dal and i have loved having you all move in with us. we certainly played, laughed and made memories (remember: some of the things that happen in new heart stay in new heart!!) we are so very proud of you and nick. liam and ziggy are blessed to have you both. loveloveloveyou, mallie
wow wow wow. loved your post and loved mal's commentary. i can totally relate to the first part of what mal said. that years from now you won't remember how tired you were. so hard to do in the now, but you are setting such a good / great / awesome foundation for your little family of soon to be four. keep on doing what you're doing because it's working.
Well Mal, I cried when I read your comments! Emmy - you make a wonderful mom! Unconditional love is what it is all about and you don't realize the full scope of that until you have your own little one! Happy moms day (a day late) to all of you, friends and family. Love you all. Pauletta
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